| Irish Jokes... |
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Two drunks coming home, stumbled up the country road in the dark. "Faith, Mike, we've stumbled into the graveyard and here's the stone of a man lived to the age of 103!" "Glory be, Patrick and was it anybody we knew?" "No, 'twas someone named 'Miles from Dublin'!"
A tourist is driving in County Kerry when the engine breaks down. He gets out to see if he can locate the problem. A voice near by says - "it's your carburettor." He looks around and only sees an horse old horse. The horse said again "It's ya carburettor that's not working." The fella nearly died of fright and rushed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him.
Muphhyy said "Well don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway."
Adapted from the Taste Ireland Website... has some really good jokes... and other Irish stuff... God was telling the angels about his new planet " I call it Earth it's a wonderful ecosystem with balance. For example, there's North America and South America. North America is gonna be rich and South America will be poor, I've put a continent of whites in the cold and another of blacks in the hot weather."
Archangel Michael puts up his hand "What's that green dot there?"
"Ahhh, the Emerald Isle, a very special place".
"It's going to be the most glorious spot on Earth. Beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and exquisite coastline. These people here are gonna be lethal craic and they're gonna be found traveling the world. They'll be playwrights and poets, singers an' songwriters An' I'm gonna give them this black liquid which they're gonna go mad on, and for which people will come from the far corners of the Earth to drink."
The Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration. "Hold' on a wee minute, he says, what about BALANCE, you said there was going to be balance..?"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the shower of absolute Bastards I'm putting next door to them!!
FATHER TED
PODGE AND RODGE
Maiia: What's The Craic is my favourite Australian print media - an' it's Irish. A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."
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